Christmas, Shopping Sprees and Santa
by Infrastructure
Summary: Bella has no presents to give so Alice plans a shopping spree, Emmett is playing his usual pranks and the Cullen boys act like little kids as they wait up to see if they can catch Santa. All in all, just a normal Christmas with the Cullens...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was almost Christmas. Forks had swapped its constant rain for constant snow and I was going to experience my first white Christmas. It never snowed in Phoenix. No snowstorms at all, just dust storms and those were horrible, so I was pretty excited. The sight out my window was beautiful; a real winter wonderland.

However there was one thing I was dreading about the snow – going outside. With my luck I was sure to slip and slide all over the snow and eventually fall down and break something. Hopefully not. Luckily for me, Charlie knew me well and had already put snow chains on the wheels of truck. They would only be helpful, although, if Edward or any of the other Cullens let me drive anywhere myself and that really didn't seem very likely.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of a car pulling into our driveway. A quick glance out my window revealed that the car was indeed the silver Volvo I had been awaiting and I grabbed my bag from the floor and opened the front door to see Edward already standing on my porch.

He was a comical sight; someone who didn't feel cold at all wrapped up in 2 layers plus a fluffy parka. It was all for appearances of course but still funny. He immediately reached forward and enveloped me in his arms which were uncharacteristically…squishy. I laughed and he untangled our arms just enough so that he could see my face.

"What's so funny, love?" he asked. I laughed even harder at the confused and extremely frustrated look on his face. That was one thing he never got over – not being able to read my thoughts.

I replied in between giggles "You're squishy and warm." He chuckled as he saw the humour in it too. His normally cold, hard vampire had been reduced to warm and squishy and almost human like because of a few layers of fabric. Really thick layers of fabric, mind you.

Wrapping his arm around my waist he guided us towards his car. He opened the passenger side door for me, then made sure no one was watching before darting over to the driver's side.

As he backed out of my driveway I pressed play on the CD player. The lively tune of Jingle Bells started to play. However there was something wrong with the lyrics. I'm pretty sure that "oh what fun it is to hunt in a snow covered forest today" was not part of the original lyrics. Curious, I ejected the disc to discover a homemade CD of Christmas carols entitled 'Vampstmas – courtesy of Emmett Cullen'. Even more disturbingly there was a little smiley face drawn on, only there were two little triangles pointing out of the smouth which were undoubtedly vampire fangs. Edward leaned over to read the writing on the disc and growled. I put the disc aside not wanting to hear what other traditional Christmas carols Emmett had butchered.

By this time we were pulling into the parking lot of Forks High School. I sighed not very eager to start another day at school. My vampire boyfriend, who had been through high school at least 9 times now smiled at me, knowing exactly what I was feeling. I gathered my resolve and stepped out of the car as he did the same just as the bell rang. Edward walked me to my first period class, English and poked his head in the door and glared at Alice before making his way to his class. Why was he glaring at Alice, what was the little devil planning?

Turns out, Edward was right to glare. Alice and I spent the lesson whispering about her plans for this weekend. Alice had snuck into my house yesterday while Edward and I were out and seen my Christmas shopping or lack thereof and decided to take me on a Christmas shopping spree.

I had three problems with said shopping spree. One: this shopping spree was in Seattle. Without even asking she had already called Charlie and gained his permission for me to spend the entire day in Seattle with her tomorrow. Two: to get as much possible shopping time she was going to wake me up at the ungodly hour of 4:30. Three: I hated shopping.

Despite all my protests she would not budge and I knew there was no point trying to stop her. Alice did what Alice wanted and everyone else did what Alice wanted, too. This shopping trip would be just Alice and I and so there was nobody to calm her down and make her take breaks.

GREAT. I sighed; this was going to be a _wonderful _weekend. Oh well, I would at least get some Christmas shopping done. I still had no presents for any of the Cullens. Charlie and Renee had been easy – a new fishing rod for Charlie and a yoga mat to help along Renee's new yoga craze. Edward was the hardest to buy for out of everyone. I had no idea what I was going to get him.

Soon class was over even though I had no idea what had been said. I had spent the entire lesson brainstorming ideas of what to get each of the Cullens. The rest of the day went in the same manner and by the end of the day I had thought of a gift for everyone but Edward.

I guess his gift would just have to be a spontaneous 'I saw it in the window and loved it' gift. On the way home Edward played a Debussy CD he had had to run home to get. When Emmett had seen Edward running towards home during lunch he had burst into hysterics drawing the attention of the entire school cafeteria, which caused Rosalie to slap him over the head

* * *

><p>Sitting at the kitchen table Edward was pulled my biology textbook out of my bag as I got a drink and something to eat. Mr Banner had suggested that he would be giving us a quiz tomorrow on the entire year's work (in a way a practice yearly exam). Using his handy mind reading powers Edward had informed me that the quiz was not an empty threat.<p>

Having been through school multiple times and having acquired 2 medical degrees, he was quite confident he could pass the quiz. I, on the other hand, was going through high school for the first time and I didn't understand much of biology. Edward could be very distracting to sit next to, especially when he kept passing me notes.

When my sandwich was ready I took it to the dining table where Edward was already waiting with my biology textbook open. As I ate, he explained. It's amazing what you can learn in one hour of study as compared to months of class.

He was explaining the placement of human ear muscles when he suddenly stopped and a mischievous grin overtook his face. That was odd. Why had he stopped and what was that grin for? However that was all soon explained when he asked "What are your thoughts on getting revenge?"

I replied in the best way I possibly could "Revenge is a dish best served cold." He laughed and started to explain his idea. It was pure genius. Emmett would never know what hit him. Muhahahaha.

A few hours later we were at the grocery store. "Why are we here? I thought we were going to your house?" I asked as we pulled up.

He simply smiled and reached for my hand as we walked into the store and steered us into the frozen section. "Which ice-cream tastes the worst?" he asked.

"Why? Don't you generally buy things that taste nice?" I was confused.

"This isn't for us. It's for Emmett."

"But they'll all taste just as horrible to him."

"I know. I just like the sentiment."

I smiled. "Alright then. All ice-cream tastes good but the one I love least out of them would have to be…." I trailed off thinking, "mint chocolate. For some reason I just don't like mint in chocolate, let alone chocolate ice cream."

He pulled three tubs of mint ice cream off the shelves and then guided me towards the aisle containing party thing. He stopped in front of the balloons and looked up and down muttering to himself. Most of what he was saying was indistinguishable but I was pretty sure I heard something about water balloons, so I dragged him a few steps up the aisle and pulled a packet of water balloons off the hook. As I handed the packet to him he looked up and said "I think we're going to need a few more packets of these."

* * *

><p>Back at my house Edward placed the tub of ice cream in the microwave and set the timer for a minute. I looked at him oddly as he searched around in the cupboards and drawers.<p>

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"A funnel." Came his reply from inside a cupboard.

"Why?"

"To pour the ice cream into the water balloons."

He finally pulled his head out of the cupboard and turned to look at me, holding up a funnel in triumph. Right at that moment the microwave beeped and I retrieved the ice cream and set it down on the counter.

As he was pouring the ice cream into some water balloons a thought came to me. "Won't he smell the ice cream and run?"

He smiled, a somewhat evil smile – smile that told me that whatever he was thinking was good. "Yes he would and that's why we need to recruit a few helpers."

Just then there was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock. It was only 5, Charlie was never home this early. As I headed to the door I frantically motioned at Edward to hide the ice cream and water balloons but he kept pouring, perfectly at ease. When I opened the door I realised why. Charlie had not come home early, Rose and Alice had decided to pay a visit.

Skipping through the door Alice laughed as she watched her brother prepare our prank. Rose followed her and gracefully sat down at the kitchen table. "I had a vision dear brother, and so we rushed over here as fast as we could." Alice almost sang.

"Yeah, when she says as fast as we could she literally means as fast as we could. One minute I was watching TV then next she had grabbed my arm and was dragging me out the door!" Rose complained and crossed her arms across her chest, "She didn't even tell me why we were coming here. So tell me dear brother of mine, what are you doing that has Alice so excited?"

Edward laughed "I have always wondered how something so small could be so annoying." Alice just stuck out her tongue in his direction and almost pushed him aside and started pouring the ice cream herself. He sighed and sat down at the table opposite Rose and explained our plan and her vital role in it.

Later that afternoon Alice, Rose, Edward and I headed over to the Cullen house (or should I say mansion – stupid super rich vampires) in two cars. Rose in the first car and the rest of us following a few miles behind.

A gleeful look came over Edward's face and I knew Rose had pulled into their garage and as usual Emmett bounded out to meet her. As they kissed (Emmett sufficiently distracted), we pulled up to the house and stealthily slid out of the car. I could be very graceful when I set my mind to it…sometimes. Grabbing some ice cream bombs out of the back seat Alice passed them to Edward and I.

Hearing us Rose smiled and tried to distract Emmett even more, pulling away from him as we were about a meter away. Suddenly letting go of him she darted over to our side and grabbed a handful of ice cream balloons too. Confused Emmett turned around but before he could see us and run 4 projectiles were already hurtling his way.

They smacked him in the face just as he turned to face us. We all burst into laughter as Emmett wiped the ice cream off his face and smelled it trying to identify it. Ever the masochist, he licked some when he could not identify the smell. He gagged as he tasted the ice cream and realised what it was.

"Ice cream!" he bellowed. We threw a few more at him before turning tail and running. Alice, Edward and Rose were throwing some at him over their backs. I was on Edward's back which gave me just the view I needed to successfully target the angry vampire chasing after us. "You'll never get away with this he screamed. As we ran out the front door we ran into Carlisle and Charlie who had been walking in the door. Ooops.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Well this was awkward. We had almost been running at full vampire speed. I was on Edward's back holding some of our ice cream balloons and Alice and Rose were alongside carrying more. Emmett was furiously trying to clear his face of the sticky mess it had become. Edward slipped me off his back and slid his arm around my waist.

Charlie looked very, very confused. However he was not the only one confused. I was just as confused as to why he was here with Carlisle and so before Charlie could overcome his shock and start asking questions I asked one first.

"Why are you here, Ch-dad?" whoops I had almost called him Charlie. That wouldn't have gone down well.

He mumbled "I was just talking to Doctor Cullen and he suggested that I come back here and we could continue our discussion."

Huh? What on earth were they talking about? Oh, right. They only had one thing in common. "Why were you talking about us?"

"We weren't talking about you two." I glared at him. "Alright, alright. We were talking about you. We were just chatting about your relationship with Edward. Nothing big…"

"What about my relationship with Edward, dad?"

"Oh, not much. Just how you were….progressing."

"Progressing? Oh." My face flooded with heat. "Dad", I whined "Our relationship is definitely not progressing in _that way. _So now could we please stop talking about that."

"Oh yes, there are actually more pressing matters at hand" he said, slipping into his Dad mode, "such as what on earth are you children doing?"

"They were harassing me Chief Swan. You should arrest them." Emmett whined with a pout that looked rather genuine. However we knew better but unfortunately, Charlie did not.

"Harassing you, how?" he asked,

"They're throwing ice-cream balloons at –" Emmett complained.

"Ice cream balloons?" Charlie interrupted.

"yes. Ice cream balloons. Water balloons filled with melted ice cream."

"Grow up boy. I would have thought you could take that." We all burst into laughter at Emmett's shocked face. He pouted, his manly fearlessness insulted.

"I'll be leaving now then. Be back home for dinner, Bella." Charlie warned as he got into his cruiser.

"Yes, dad." I replied. I hadn't spent much time with Charlie lately. It would be nice to have dinner with him.

As soon as Charlie's car was out of sight Emmett lunged for the ice cream balloons trying to get some ammo to pelt us with. When he realised there were none left, he lunged at Edward instead. Edward dodged him the first time but Emmett eventually caught him off guard and the two boys wrestled on the floor for a few minutes before suddenly stopping.

I wondered why they had stopped until I saw the state of Esme's roses. They were crushed and she would be too. A few seconds later I realised their second reason for stopping as Esme's car pulled into the driveway. She had been shopping in Seattle for the day. Getting out of her car she took one look at her ruined roses and the guilty looks on her son's faces, before shaking her head sadly and taking her shopping bags inside. Emmett and Edward followed her inside, eager to apologise.

As soon as they were gone Alice turned to me and said "Remember Bella, Saturday morning 8am sharp. You have a lot of Christmas shopping today and Christmas is less than a week away. If you are not awake and ready I will come and wake you up again. You remember how that goes don't you…" she paused to let her threat sink in as I shuddered.

The last time Alice woke me up had not been one of the best mornings of my life. She had jumped on my bed, dumped water on me before proceeding to drag me out of bed to the bathroom and brushing my teeth for me. I would definitely set my alarm early on Saturday. She gave me a completely innocent smile as Edward walked out of the house to drop me home.

* * *

><p><em>BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.<em> What was that annoying beeping sound? Ah, right. It was my alarm clock. Eyes still closed I pulled my arm out of the blankets and reached for my alarm clock to shut it off. my arm waved about in the air for a few minutes before finally hitting something solid and I quickly set it to snooze. I tried to fall back asleep but there was something at the back of my mind, nagging me. Some serious reason why I shouldn't be sleeping in on this glorious Saturday morning.

There was a loud knock at the door and i suddenly remembered why I should be awake. Looking over at my alarm clock I sighed. It was only quarter to 8. Wait a second... I had set my alarm for 7:45 so why was it going off earlier? That sneaky little pixie. She must have snuck into my room at night. I was going to kill her. Another knock at the door reminded me that there was someone at the door. I finally rolled my way out of bed and trudged downstairs. When I opened the door Alice looked me up and down. "Why aren't you dressed?" she asked.

Testily, I replied "It's not 8 yet and I only just woke up."

"Hmph. You have got to get better at this waking up early thing. "

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No, you have to get better at being on time not 15 minutes early. When you say 8 you're meant to come at 8, not quarter to 8."

"Nah. If I came at 8 instead of quarter to 8 you would probably still be in bed and then we would become late. So chop, chop go shower and get dressed. I'll just occupy myself for a few minutes."

Her last statement scared me more than anything. Alice occupying herself could not be a good thing. So I rushed upstairs to get ready.

20 minutes later we were in Alice's bright yellow Porsche speeding down the road. I still didn't know what Alice had done to keep herself occupied but she hadn't mentioned anything and truthfully I was scared to ask. I had vague ideas of what to get everyone…well everyone but Edward.

* * *

><p>Alice was having great fun dragging me around the shopping centre. By noon I had bought something for everyone but Edward and I was really hungry. I tried to tug Alice towards the food court but being a vampire it was kind of hard for me to take her anywhere she didn't want to go. About half an hour later she was finally ready to get me some lunch.<p>

On our way to the food court I saw a book shop. There weren't many good bookshops within an hour's drive of Forks so I was really excited. Dragging Alice inside (she actually came, it was amazing!) I started looking across the shelves. I picked up a few books and made my way to the register. Just as I reached the register something caught my eye. It was a leather bound journal. It had an antique look to it but it was still beautiful and it was perfect. The perfect present for Edward, finally. Paying for everything I walked out of the shop to meet Alice. After we had finally had lunch Alice and I headed home.

Alice made sure to drop me home rather than bring me back to the Cullens. Emmett was still a little put after our ice cream prank and would have probably tried to peek at the presents we got him and spoil the surprise for everyone else. At home I quickly hid the presents in the back of my wardrobe with my other presents, to wrap later.

I didn't know what Edward did to occupy himself when I was asleep but I was hoping that he wasn't snooping through my wardrobe. If he was that was more than a little creepy and he would be incredibly sorry. Suddenly the front door opened and I rushed down the stairs to see Edward walking in. The front door was always locked but Edward knew where the spare key was kept. At night he used the window but otherwise he used the front door. It made him feel more … honourable, I guess.

"Have a good day with my sister?" He asked with a smile.

I groaned. "I would have if she hadn't come to wake me up early."

He laughed. "Well that's Alice for you. There's not much I can do to stop her unfortunately. I've never understood how someone that small could be that annoying."

"That's true," I agreed, "However I did end up getting present for everyone." His face lit up and he made to go search my room for the presents. The Cullens were decades old, even a century in Edward's case but at times they could act very much like little children. Edward especially.

"NO PEEKING." I ordered, "And no reading Alice's mind."

He looked suitably chastened and pouted. So cute, so hard to resist… NO! I shook myself out of it. I had to keep him away from the presents.

After cooking dinner, with Edward's help, sort of… the kitchen was my domain not his (despite his cooking skills). HE HAD NO RIGHT TO ENTER MY DOMAIN. He had to leave me something to be better than him at. Stupid super-good-at-everything charming vampire, who was so totally easy to falllllllllll in looooooooove with…damn.


End file.
